Tons of funny jokes sms, funny sms jokes, free sms jokes, short jokes sms, funny jokes and funny sms

Roy: Would you like to play with my new dog?

Ron: Does it bite?

Roy: That’s what I want to find out!

Son: ( After returning from school) Oh! I had a tough day in office today.

Father: Office?

Son: Yes, in the principal’s office!

Teacher: Make a sentence with object.

Student: You are really handsome , sir!

Teacher: Well thanks for the complimemt. But what’s the object here?

Student: A good grade!

A cute Love Story:
GIRL:M i Pretty?
BOY:NO.
Girl:Do U wana Liv wd me?
BOY:NO.
Girl:if I leav U thn wil u cry?
Boy:NO.
Grl got Hurt n startd 2 cry.
Boy hold her Tight n said:
U r nt Prety bt BEAUTIFUL.
I dnt wnt 2 liv wd U bt LIVE 4 U.
Whn u leav me i wl nt cry BT DIE.

Half of our life to find true love

It takes half of our life to find true love,
And half to keep them.

I am lucky to spend less than half in finding U
And the rest of my life to be spent in keeping U in my heart.

U r unique
u r caring &
u r da best.
& I am da luckiest 2
Hve u in my life!
MY SWEET HEART!

If u think i miss u all the time u r wrong i miss u only when i think about u but Damm it i think u all the time i miss u sweetheart

Measured By Miles
U r Far 4rm Me,
Measured By Thoughts
U r Closer 2 Me,
Measurd By Closd Eyes
U r Wid Me,
&
Measurd By Heart

Ur in Me….

A man was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail when an exceptionally gorgeous and sexy young woman entered. She was so striking that the man could not take his eyes away from her.
The young woman noticed his overly-attentive stare and walked directly toward him. Before he could offer his apologies for being so rude, the young woman said to him, “I’ll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $100 on one condition.”

Flabbergasted, the man asked what the condition was. The young woman replied, “You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words.”

All the scientists die and go to heaven………… They decide to play hide-n-seek……… Unfortunately Einstein is the one who has the den……….. He is supposed to count up to 100…and then start searching…..Everyone starts hiding except Newton ……… Newton just draws a square of 1 meter and stands in it right in front of Einstein………..

Einstein’s counting: 1,2,3……97,98,99…..100…….. He opens his eyes and finds Newton standing in front…… Einstein says ” Newton ’s out.  Newton’s….out…..” Newton denies and says Newton is not out…….. He claims that he is not Newton …… All the scientists come out to see how he proves that he is not Newton ………. Newton says “I am standing in a square of area 1m squared….. That makes me Newton per meter squared…… since a  Newton per meter squared is one Pascal, I’m Pascal, Therefore Pascal is OUT !!!!!!!!!”

A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store. The parrot said to her, “Hey lady, You are really ugly,”

The lady was furious! She stormed past the store to her work. On the way home she saw the same parrot and it said to her, “Hey lady, you are really ugly,” She was incredibly ticked now.

The next day the same parrot again said to her, “Hey lady, you are really ugly,”