Archive for the ‘Clean jokes’ Category

funny internet jokes, funny jokes, funny Hindi jokes, Software ADs on Doordarshan!

Thursday, March 11th, 2010

“The man , The Machine, The Software – PeopleSoft VII”

Boy – “I am a PB boy”
Girl – “I am a PB gal”
“Badte bacho ke liye complete software – Powerbuilder”

“Eat bugs, Sleep bugs…..Do only debugs”

Internet Programmer – “I got the ASP power , now u go get it!!!”

“Microsoft office – Nothing official about it !!!”

” Software ki raksha karta hein Norton Anti virus…. Software hai jaha, Norton Antivirus hein vaha…”

Project Manager – I want the code today….
Programmer – 2 minutes
“Programmer ka kaam kare asaan, Duniya bhar me hai iski shaan…VB….VB…..VB”

Funny Father Son Jkes: World

Thursday, March 11th, 2010

Life is full of stress and strain. Fight them by sharing jokes!
Father: Listen my son, if you study properly, your name will reach every corner of this world.
Son: Dad, ho is that possible? In geography, we were taught that the word is round. It shouldn,t hve any corner, should it dad!!

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Funny Friends Jokes, Funny Kids Jokes

Saturday, March 6th, 2010

Roy: After my death, I will donate my brain so that it will help the research work of scientists.

Ron: Oh yes, now-a-days  many researches are going on about ‘ vacant space’!

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Roy: I never run away from any responsibilities!

Ron: Its because you are always kicked out much before!

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funny doctor jokes, Keeping An Eye Out For The Doctor

Tuesday, March 2nd, 2010

John, two days before his scheduled visit to the proctologist, accidentally swallowed his glass eye when he was cleaning it. He was worried at first, but after calling his doctor and learning he probably won’t get sick, he ordered another and soon forgot about it.

He arrived for his annual proctology exam on time, and was soon called into the doctor’s examining room. After undressing, John follows his instructions and bends over. The first thing the proctologist saw when he took a peek up the man’s butt was his glass eye staring right back at him!

funny aviation jokes, Free flight

Tuesday, March 2nd, 2010

In the early 1930’s, a farmer and his wife went to a fair. The farmer was fascinated by the airplanes and asked a pilot how much a ride would cost.

“$10 for 3 minutes,” replied the pilot. “That’s too much,” said the farmer.

The pilot thought for a second and then said, “I’ll make you a deal. If you and your wife ride for 3 minutes without uttering a sound, the ride will be free. But if you make a sound, you’ll have to pay $10.”

Funny Teacher Student Jokes: Oldest

Tuesday, March 2nd, 2010

Teacher: Who is the oldest animal in the world?

Student: Zebra, mam.

Teacher:  How do you know?

Student: Because its all black and white!

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funny jokes, funny husband wife jokes, Healthy lifestyle

Saturday, February 27th, 2010

 

A man was celebrating his 100th birthday and everybody complimented him on how athletic and well-preserved he appeared.
“Gentlemen, I will tell you the secret of my success,” he cackled. “I have been in the open air day after day for some 75 years now.”
The celebrants were impressed and asked how he managed to keep up his rigorous fitness regime.
“Well, you see my wife and I were married 75 years ago. On our wedding night, we made a solemn pledge. Whenever we had a fight, the one who was proved wrong would go outside and take a walk.”

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Funny Animal Jokes: Mosquito

Tuesday, February 23rd, 2010

A baby mosquito came back after his first flight.

Mom mosquito: How was your flight?

Baby mosquito: It was realy great. Everybody was clapping at me!!

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funny jokes, One Hour Delay

Monday, February 22nd, 2010

One day there was a little boy sitting down playing with his new
train set while his mother was fixing dinner. The mother, busy
fixing dinner was not really paying any attention to what her
son was saying so as she started to tune in to him she heard”
choo! choo! all you motherfuukers who wanna get on thr train get
on and to all you motherfuukers who wanna get off the train get
off.The mother scolded and put the little boy in timeout for an
hour and told him to think about what he had done. When the hour
was up the little boy decided that he was ready to play with his
train again so he started “choo! choo! all you ladies and
gentlemen who wanna get on the train get on and all you ladies
and gentlemen who wanna get off the train get off and for those
of you wondering about the one hour delay talk to the bitch in
the kitchen.”

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funny TV jokes, TV Surfing

Monday, February 22nd, 2010

One day Jared was surfing the TV channels. He came to the first
channel and it was drag racing. Then he went to the second
channel and it was wrestling. Then he went to the third channel
and it was sewing. Then he went to the last channel and it was
TLC (The Learning Channel) and they were showing babies being
born.

So he went back to the first channel and this is how it sounded:
“And they’re off! (changes channel )He’s on top of her! She’s on
top of him! (changes channel) In and out, in and out. (changes
channel) And the baby has safely been born.”

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