A man goes to the eye doctor. The receptionist asks him why he is there. The man complains, “I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes.”The receptionist asks, “Have you ever seen a doctor?” and the man replies, “No, just spots.”
Archive for the ‘Doctor Patient Jokes’ Category
hilarious eye doctor jokes
Tuesday, March 2nd, 2010funny doctor jokes, Keeping An Eye Out For The Doctor
Tuesday, March 2nd, 2010
John, two days before his scheduled visit to the proctologist, accidentally swallowed his glass eye when he was cleaning it. He was worried at first, but after calling his doctor and learning he probably won’t get sick, he ordered another and soon forgot about it.
He arrived for his annual proctology exam on time, and was soon called into the doctor’s examining room. After undressing, John follows his instructions and bends over. The first thing the proctologist saw when he took a peek up the man’s butt was his glass eye staring right back at him!
funny medical jokes, Actual Doctor’s Notes
Monday, February 22nd, 2010
These are doctors’ notes on patients’ charts: (Actual notes- unedited!)
1. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
2. On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared
completely.
3. She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was
very hot in bed last night.
4. The patient has been depressed ever since she began
seeing me in 1993.
5. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be
depressed.
6. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
7. Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
Funny Doctor Patient Jokes: Forget
Thursday, February 18th, 2010Funny Doctor Patient Jokes, Naughty Blonde Jokes: Beast
Thursday, February 18th, 2010Patient( blonde): Doctor, I told my boyfriend a beast!
Doctor: Why?
Blonde: My boyfriend has kissed me.
Doctor: Did he kissed you this way?( showing how)
Blonde: Yes.
Doctor: No, you shouldn’t call him a beast for it!
Blonde: Not only kiss, he did other things too!
Doctor: (showing again) Did he done like this?
Blonde: Yes.
Doctor: You shouldn’t call him a beast for it also.
Blonde: After all this, my boyfriend told he is HIV positive!
Doctor: Beast!!
Funny Doctor Patient Jokes: Number Game
Saturday, January 30th, 2010funny old man jokes, funny doctor patient jokes, My point exactly!
Saturday, January 30th, 2010A 90-year-old man said to his doctor, “I’ve never felt better. I have an 18-year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?”
The doctor considered his question for a minute and then said, “I have an elderly friend who is a hunter and never misses a season. One day when he was going out in a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his umbrella instead of his gun.
When he got to the Creek, he saw a beaver sitting beside the stream. He raised his umbrella and went, ‘bang, bang’ and the beaver fell dead. What do you think of that?” The 90-year-old said, “I’d say somebody else shot that beaver.”
funny mad jokes, hilarious mental jokes, Sacrifice!
Tuesday, January 26th, 2010Jim and Mary were both patients in a mental hospital.
One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sunk to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Mary promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.
When the medical director became aware of Mary’s heroic act he immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as he now considered her to be mentally stable.
Funny Doctor Patient Jokes: Make Up
Sunday, January 24th, 2010funny quotes, hilarious one liner
Saturday, January 23rd, 2010Virginity like bubble, one prick – all gone.
Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.
Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
Man with one chopstick go hungry.
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.
Panties not best thing on earth, but next to best thing on earth.
