Archive for the ‘Funny Jokes’ Category

funny jokes, hilarious jokes, Father of Many

Tuesday, March 9th, 2010

An old Jewish man gets on the subway in New York and sees a priest.

He notices the white collar, and decides to ask what it’s about.

“Why do you wear your collar backwards?” The old Jewish man asks.

The Priest, being polite, responds “Well, Sir, because I’m a father.”

“I am a father too, but I wear my collar normal.”

“Yes,” the Priest begins, “but I am father of many”

The old Jewish man shakes his head. “I have 8 children, and so many grandchildren I don’t know most their names, and still my collar isn’t backwards.”

hilarious jokes, Guess who sent them!

Monday, March 8th, 2010

 

A young couple got married and went away on their honeymoon. After 2 weeks they came back and finally put away all of the presents they received from friends and family.
Since this was a new home, the process took some time. The silver went into the closet, items were put on the walls for display and some of the most intimate apparels were put in the bedroom drawers.

A week later, they received a mail carrying two tickets for a popular show where tickets were impossible to get. They were very excited and warmed by the gesture of the person who sent this. Inside the envelope, however, was only a piece of paper with a single line, “Guess who sent them.”

funny jokes, It’s a Small World!

Sunday, March 7th, 2010

George decides to take his boss Sam to play 9 holes on their lunch. While both men are playing excellent they are often held up by two women in front of them moving at a very slow pace.

George offers to talk to the women and see if they can speed it up a bit. He gets about 3/4ths of the way stops and jogs back. His boss asks what the problem is.

George said, “Well one of those women is my wife and the other my mistress.

Funny Question Answer Jokes: Once More

Saturday, March 6th, 2010

Question: Do you know my son has many degrees?

Answer: Is he a thermometer!

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Question: Why it is easy to weigh fish?

Answer: Because it has scales!

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Question: Why does the donkey smile when lightning flashed?

Answer: He thought that someone is taking his photograph!

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funny cowboy jokes

Tuesday, March 2nd, 2010

A cowboy and a biker are on death row, and are to be executed on the same day. The day comes, and they are brought to the gas chamber. The warden asks the cowboy if he has a last request, to which the cowboy replies, “Ah shore do, wardn. Ahd be mighty grateful ifn yood play Achy Breaky Heart fur me bahfore ah hafta go.”"Sure enough, cowboy, we can do that,” says the warden. He turns to the biker, “And you, biker, whats your last request?”"That you kill me first.”

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funny honeymoon couple jokes, funny naughty jokes

Tuesday, March 2nd, 2010

 

After the third day of a really torrid honeymoon, the young couple finally emerged from their room and walked into the hotel restaurant. After they were seated, the waiter came over to get their orders. The new husband looked at his bride and said, “You know what I really feel like honey ?” “Well sure,” she blushed, “But we gotta eat sometime !”

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hilarious eye doctor jokes

Tuesday, March 2nd, 2010

A man goes to the eye doctor. The receptionist asks him why he is there. The man complains, “I keep seeing spots in front of my eyes.”The receptionist asks, “Have you ever seen a doctor?” and the man replies, “No, just spots.”

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funny doctor jokes, Keeping An Eye Out For The Doctor

Tuesday, March 2nd, 2010

John, two days before his scheduled visit to the proctologist, accidentally swallowed his glass eye when he was cleaning it. He was worried at first, but after calling his doctor and learning he probably won’t get sick, he ordered another and soon forgot about it.

He arrived for his annual proctology exam on time, and was soon called into the doctor’s examining room. After undressing, John follows his instructions and bends over. The first thing the proctologist saw when he took a peek up the man’s butt was his glass eye staring right back at him!

funny military jokes, The Recruits

Tuesday, March 2nd, 2010

 
Ten Recruits had just arrived at the training camp and were lined up for inspection.

“Hey johnson!” yelled the drill instructor, ” those are the ugliest shoes i’ve ever seen! ”
“Yes, sir” the young man answered.

“Those shoes are really really ugly, right?” hollered the D.I again
“Yes, sir!”

“And that hair- dont they have barbershops where you came from?”
“Yes, sir”, answered the recruit.
“So why didnt you get a haircut?”
“I was saving up for shoes, sir!”

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funny pilot jokes, Are blind pilots flying?

Tuesday, March 2nd, 2010

 

One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated waiting for the pilot to show up so they can get under way.

The pilot and copilot finally appear in the rear of the plane and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle. Both appear to be blind; the pilot is using a white cane, bumping into passengers right and left as he stumbles down the aisle. The copilot is using a guide dog. Both have their eyes covered with sunglasses.