Funny Jokes SMS

My husband and I didn’t sign a pre-nuptial agreement. We signed a mutual suicide pact.
[ Funny Marriage Quotes]

My husband said he needed more space. So I locked him outside.
[ Funny Marriage Quotes]

Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.
[ Funny Women Quotes] [ Funny PMS Quotes]

The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.
[ Funny Women Quotes] [ Funny Power Quotes]

“People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.”

“It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This is why it takes several million sperm cells . . . to locate a female egg, despite the fact that the egg is, relative to them, the size of Wisconsin.”

“Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.”

“You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.”

“He was a dreamer, a thinker, a speculative philosopher…or, as his wife would have it, an idiot.”

“I seldom end up where I wanted to go, but almost always end up where I need to be.”

“There is a theory which states that if ever for any reason anyone discovers what exactly the Universe is for and why it is here it will instantly

disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another that states that this has already happened.”

“We have normality. I repeat, we have normality. Anything you still can’t cope with is therefore your own problem.”