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Stress has increased alarmingly in life. We all need to laugh and for that we need to share jokes. Check this one.
Roy: Do you now what I have done? I have not taken my wife with me in our honeymoon and thereby saved half of the honeymoon expenditure. How do you like my idea?
Ron: Ha! Ha! This is nothing. I have send my wife with my friend for honeymoon and thereby saved the total honeymoon expenditure. How is that!!
A little old lady gets onto a crowded bus and stands in front of a seated young girl. Holding her hand to her chest, she says to the girl, ‘If you knew what I have, you would give me your seat.’ The girl gets up and gives up her the seat to the old lady. It is hot. The girl then takes out a fan and starts fanning herself. The woman looks up and says, ‘If you knew what I have, you would give me that fan.’ The girl gives her the fan, too.Fifteen minutes later the woman gets up and says to the bus driver, ‘Stop, I want to get off here.’ The bus driver tells her he has to drop her at the next corner, not in the middle of the block. With her hand across her chest, she tells the driver, ‘If you knew what I have, you would let me off the bus right here.’ The bus driver pulls over and opens the door to let her out. As she’s walking out of the bus, he asks, ‘Madam, what is it you have?’The old woman looks at him and nonchalantly replies, ‘Chutzpah.’
MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need because it’s on sale.
BATHROOM
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from a hotel.
The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 481. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
A young lady came home from a date, rather sad.
She told her mother, “Jeff proposed to me an hour ago.”
“Then why are you so sad?” her mother asked.
“Because he also told me he was an atheist. Mom, he doesn’t even believe there’s a hell.”
Her mother replied, “Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, we’ll show him how wrong he is.”
A dinner conversation that went wrong….
WIFE: “What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?”
HUSBAND: “Definitely not!”
WIFE: “Why not – don’t you like being married?”
HUSBAND: “Of course I do.”
WIFE: “Then why wouldn’t you remarry?
HUSBAND: “Okay, I’d get married again.
WIFE: “You would? (with a hurtful look on her face).”
HUSBAND: (makes audible groan).
WIFE: “Would you sleep with her in our bed?”
HUSBAND: “Where else would we sleep?”
WIFE: “Would you replace my pictures with hers?
HUSBAND: “That would seem like the proper thing to do.”
WIFE: “Would she use my golf clubs?”
HUSBAND: “No, she’s left-handed.”
WIFE: – - – silence – - -
HUSBAND: “Shit.”
“Sarah Palin was photographed in Hawaii this week wearing a ‘McCain for President’ visor, but she had blacked out the letters of her former running mate’s name. She was going to black out all of it, but halfway through, she quit.” -Seth Meyers
“Sarah Palin’s book is number one on Amazon.com right now. Stephen King actually has the number two book. Very scary new book called ‘Sarah Palin Becomes President.’” -Jimmy Kimmel
“In Sarah Palin’s new book, she says when she first laid eyes on her future husband, she said out loud, ‘Thank you, God,’ which is the same thing the Democrats said when they first laid eyes on Sarah Palin.” -Conan O’Brien
FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use “fine” to describe how a woman looks – this will cause you to have one of those arguments.
FIVE MINUTES
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it’s an even trade.
Husband wife relationship has everything- love, se x, qrarrel, fight; and there’s a bit of fun as well. Check this one.
Wife: Dear, I deeamt a nice one last night.
Husband: What is it, honey?
Wife: You brought lots of dresses and ornements for me.
Husband: Oh! And I dreamt that your father was paying the bils!!
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| By N2H | |||||
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