Funny Videos

Read these funny one liner sms jokes and share these with ur family and friends through sms, enjoy!!


A husband was asked: Do u talk to wife after sex?
His answer: Depends, if I can find a phone



Why'd they call it PMS? Cos Mad cow disease was already taken!



I went to ur house just now - can't enter cos door says *CUTE FOLK NOT ALLOWED* - pls take sign down next time ok!



Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.



Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.



Always remember you're unique - just like everyone else.



I heard you took an IQ test and they said you're results were negative.



How many letters in the Alphabet? 19, cuz ET went home on a UFO and the FBI went after him.



Don't feel sad...don't feel blue...Frankenstein was ugly too...



U got Sex Appeal...U got Class...U got Moves...U got da Face, da Body....sh*t...I got wrong number...SORRY :)



I need a kiss, I need touched, I need your love, I need warmth, I need hugs, I need sex, I need YOU!



On the cellphone pad of life, always keep one finger on the disconnect key.



The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the second half by our children.



Nope.....u still ugly!

-Gorgeous, intelligent, kind, sweet, charming, witty, hilarious, friendly...well enough about ME! How are you? 

-Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW! 

-How do u occupy an idiot? Press down - Press up...Press Down...! 

-***NEWSFLASH*** Tell ALL your female friends that i can get 100 tampons for £1
... No Strings attached
...but for a limited period ONLY!
...A bloody good deal! 

-Pleas turn your mobile phone upside down now!!! Hurry
370HSSV 0773H 

-FRIEND SEARCH: Friend detector activated...calibration complete, now searching.....still searching....still searching......sorry, no friends found.

What did the elephant say to the naked man? 
How do you breathe through that thing?

What happened when the Pope went to Mount Olive? 
Popeye beat the crap outta him. 

What is the difference between a woman and a magnet? 
Magnets have a positive side!

The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.

WOMAN: The most efficient money reducing agent known to man-kind!

What do you call a blonde hiding in a closet? 
The 1977 World Hide and Seek Champion.

Why was Phillip's girlfriend annoyed? 
Coz she found out that Phillips 24 inch was a TV. 

What do Germans use for birth control? 
Their personalities! 


why'd the couple stop after 3 children? Cos they heard every fourth child born is chinese.

Minds are like Parachutes. They work best when open.

Borrow money from pessimists--they don't expect it back

Q: Why was the leper caught speeding?
A: He couldn't take his foot of the accelerator.


Hello, this is Death. Please answer when you're ready. 

Those beautiful eyes, that incredible body, such a brain, nice smile .... but that is enough about me, tell me how you are? 

Did you ever walk into a room and and forget why you walked in? 
that's how dogs spend their lives. 

How do you save a man from drowning? 
Take ur foot of his head.

If you jogged backward ... would you gain weight? 

What is the thinnest book in the world? 
What Men Know About Women. 

Marriage is a three ring circus: an engagement ring, a wedding ring, and suffering 

How Dogs and Women are alike..... 
Neither believe that silence is golden. 
Neither can balance a checkbook. 

Confucius says Put rooster in freezer to get a stiff cock.

How many Chinamen does it take to change a light bulb? 
Thousands, because Confucius say many hands make light work.